I’ve been putting this off for over a year.   It’s time to tell my God stories.  There are so many of them, and I know they have the potential to help a lot of people.  The reason I have been putting it off can be summed up in one word, FEAR.  I am well aware that God calls me to be strong and courageous, but if I’m honest, sometimes I’m not strong, or courageous.  The truth is that telling my story has come at a very high price.  My life, my dreams, my hopes, and desires, do not get to lead the way.  When I decided to follow Jesus, I had to lay what I wanted down, pick up my cross, and follow him.

At first, that didn’t seem so hard.  But as time has gone on, I have watched the plot twist in ways that I never would have imagined, or chosen.  I have questioned God about why he has allowed certain situations, and why evil people prosper, while the righteous suffer.  God’s ways are different than my ways, and he has not answered me the thousands of times I have cried out, “Why?”

He is God, and I am not.  So I’m down here in my basement writing.  I’ve written a lot, erased a lot, and written some more.  I’ve finally concluded that I am ready to die on this hill.  I’d rather obey God than miss this opportunity.  I should not be afraid of what I am about to suffer, rather I should be afraid of what will happen if I do not speak.  What if someone needs hope, and I can offer it, but I don’t?

I’m not sure what the story will look like as it unfolds. But I know this, God is good, and he is good at being God.  He promises to be with me, and never leave me, so I don’t have to be afraid.

He loves all people and that is what he wants me to say. God loves you.  Wherever you are, whatever you have done, or if there is something that you were supposed to do and you didn’t, God loves you.  If someone has hurt you, rejected you, or mistreated you, God loves you.  God loves you so much that he sent Jesus to make an atonement for your sins.  Yes, Jesus made a way for us spend eternity in heaven, and on top of that, healing is part of the atonement.  He binds up the broken-hearted, he saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Now that is good news!  God loves you, and he loves me too.

Yesterday was Memorial Day, and I spent the day making, and canning Salsa, and remembering my Dad.  My Dad never served in the armed forces, but my Dad was in God’s Army.  Sixteen years ago on Memorial Day, I climbed up a small mountain, with an intimate group of family and friends, and we spread my Dad’s ashes.  Bible verses were read, prayers were prayed, and before I knew it, it was over.

Whenever Memorial Day rolls around,  I think of my Dad.  Yesterday I processed some unexpected grief.  Grieving is Holy work, and although I don’t like pain, I know that grieving is a good pain that brings healing.  I thought about some of the things my Dad would say in response to all that I am going through during this season. He would most assuredly say, “Go get em tiger! You can do it!”

If you haven’t subscribed to my blog, please subscribe because it looks like I’ll be home for awhile, and to tell you the truth, I would love to connect with you. I miss people.

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit,^[a] striving together as one for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. Philippians 1:27-28

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25

Isaac planted crops in that land and the same year reaped a hundredfold, because the Lord blessed him. Genesis 26:12