For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.1 Corinthians 1:21  I’m going start this blog post with a prayer.

Dear God,

You have called me to give my testimony. You’ve called me to be bold. I’m asking you to give me words both true and kind. I’m asking you to deliver these words to whoever it is that you need to see them. I am not here to say the things that I have to say because I want to, rather I am her out of obedience to you.

It is my belief that secrets equal death and there are some secrets that I need strength to reveal today because I believe that lives are on the line. Your word says that love covers over a multitude of sins and I believe it!

I know that once darkness is exposed to the light it loses its power. Your word says the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I’m asking you to please do what only you can do. You sent Jesus into the world not to condemn the world but to save all who are lost, sick and broken.

Thank you for saving me! I love you!

Love, Alison

In October I got pulled over because one of my headlights was out. The officer gave me a compliance ticket and told me that if I got my headlight fixed and then came into the police station to prove that it was fixed then I wouldn’t have to pay the fine.  During that traffic stop the police officer told me he liked the stickers on the back of my van.

We had a brief conversation and among other things a remember the officer saying “Thank you for being nice.”

It stopped me and made me think.  Don’t we all like it when people are nice? Sometimes when I’m giving my testimony I don’t actually feel like I’m being “nice.” But then I remember that if you see someone is going the wrong way and you know that if that person keeps going that way they’re headed for imminent danger and you don’t say something to warn them, then that’s not nice!

I opened up my mail the other day to discover yet another ticket. This one was a Red Light Violation.  My vehicle had been caught by a camera breaking the law. It was very disappointing.

I read the front and the back of the ticket. The first thing that I noticed was that there was a website I could go to to view the actual footage, which I did.  I watched my van approach a red light, slow down, and then it turned right without stopping.

The second thing that stood out to me was in bold print. And it said, “IF YOU BELIEVE THIS VIOLATION  HAS BEEN ISSUED IN ERROR, DO NOT IGNORE THIS NOTICE.  FAILURE TO RESPOND CONSTITUTES AN OMISSION OF LIABILITY AND A DETERMINATION OF LIABILITY WILL BE ENTERED AGAINST YOU.

In the first instance with the compliance ticket the officer required that I get my headlight replaced and then I needed to go into the police station to prove that I had complied. In that instance I had broken the law but it was unintentional.  I was completely unaware that my headlight had burned out. I did get my headlight replaced and when I went into the police station and showed them, they dropped the charges.

The second ticket was the Red Light Violation. In that instance I had broken the law and I should have known better. When I viewed the footage and recalled that day I realized that I needed to pay the fine. I hadn’t meant to do a rolling stop but that didn’t make me innocent. In fact I was given a warning not to ignore the violation that was issued.

• The sin of commission is when I cross a line and sin.
• The sin of omission is to know what I should and then not do it.

God has been asking me to do a lot of  “grown up” things and one of them is to get my affairs in order. I have no good reason for not having completed my will at this point in my life but honestly I’m still trying to complete the task.

Something that I stumbled over for the longest time was the fact that I believe my mother’s last will and testament was not respected or honored.  My mother left her brother David with the task of taking care of me and my siblings after she died.  She covered her bases by saying that if he died or couldn’t do it then she wanted her children to go to her other brother Don. My mother went on to say that if he died or couldn’t do it then she wanted her other brother Bob to take care of us.

My mother had three brothers that were listed in the will and somehow my siblings and I ended up in the children’s home. When my Grandparents on my mother’s side died I asked my Uncle Bob for a copy of the wills. It seemed that something wasn’t quite right with my inheritance. He gave me a copy and in what felt like a very intimidating way to me said, “This is for YOUR EYES ONLY.”

When I was in trouble and on the verge of losing my house back in my twenties, I asked my uncles for help and I even sat down with my Aunt Jean to discuss my situation. What I received back was a letter from my Uncle David (which I still have) telling me that I wasn’t going to get help from them.  Instead I was given advice to sell my house and go on welfare! The letter was signed by my Uncle David and he wrote in that he was signing for my Uncle Don and Uncle Bob.

I can’t prove that there were changes made to my grandparents wills after they started struggling with dementia. I don’t know if anyone signed names for people they weren’t legally supposed to,  I don’t really know why my Uncle Don or my Uncle Bob didn’t take care of us when my Uncle David decided to change his mind and not follow through on the promise he made to my mother in her deathbed to take care of her children after she died.

By the time I was at an age where I finally found words and courage to address some of these issues I received a lot of shrugged shoulders and excuses. I know enough to know that there needs to be a power of attorney to sign someone else’s name.  You can get away with a lot of things for a long time but eventually the truth comes out. God sees everything and God is fair.

• Ride or die!
• Here we go!

When  I jotted down that note I did it to remind myself to get my will done, to make decisions regarding my finances, my children, my memorial service and basically addressing all end of life decisions. I wasn’t looking at the word affairs the way I am today.

affair: a sexual relationship, especially a secret one

Genesis 16:13

God sees us when we sin and he loves us so much that even though we are dead in our transgressions he sent Jesus into the world to save us.

This document is The Resolution from the movie Courageous. My husband ripped it up during an argument. He said it didn’t matter. I couldn’t help but notice that the document now says “ The Solution.” God is so sovereign that He even made that piece of paper tear in such a way to reveal the solution in this particular situation.

I have had SO MANY obstacles when it comes to trying to get my husbands “friends” to hold him accountable. Come on, are you really going to let him crash and burn before your eyes? Ride or die doesn’t have to be toxic.  I believe in loyalty but it doesn’t mean you just let someone cheat on you.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? Galatians 5:17

. “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord. Proverbs‬ ‭21‬:‭30‬-‭31‬

I give you a new commandment:^* love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35