When I was getting ready to get married for the third time, I wasn’t so confident in my ability to love.  Experience had taught me one of my many weaknesses. I discovered I’m fair weathered. My ability to love apart from God dwindles as offenses against me grow.  I had learned that offenses where going to come, I could count on it!

I knew I didn’t want to be alone. I also had absolutely no faith in my ability to love like God. Naively, I focused on my husband to be.

I didn’t see any fruit in his life that would indicate he could love me if I offended him. He loved me, yes he did, but it was a young love.  God says that love is patient and kind. It’s not easily angered and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. Neither of us displayed love like that.

There were some huge red flags flying just weeks before our wedding.  My future husband did some things that made me think I should call off the wedding.  I took my concerns to the pastor who was officiating our wedding. I was certain that he would rebuke my husband.   Instead the pastor asked me,

“Well, are you going to forgive him?”

I did forgive.  But I was crushed. I wish I could make people understand that how you behave before your wedding makes a profound difference in the life and health of your marriage.

When you are engaged to be married, you are walking on Holy Ground.

Forgiveness did not end with my husband. I also came to a crossroad where I forgave the pastor who didn’t offer compassion to me in my brokenness. I had full confidence that the error of my future husband’s ways would not be tolerated, not in the church anyway. But, as far as I know of I was the only one expected to do something.

My job, was to forgive!

God didn’t trip me in the aisle of the church and since I could see my groom at the front, I interpreted that to be a GO!

We were married and both vowed before the Lord that we would love each other for better  or for worse. That day I knew I was going to need God’s help, but I had no idea how hard it was going to be.  My track record for marriage was bad and I knew God takes vows very seriously. 

It’s easy to love people who love. The challenge comes in loving your enemies. God is clear, your enemies are going to be members of your own household. The Bible says forgive and you will be forgiven. Love covers over a multitude of sins. God is love. 

God has given me a do over. A chance to love unconditionally. It’s been an adventure. There have been times we didn’t think we would make it. But we have made it. By God’s grace we are learning to love & forgive & be forgiven.

I’ve had to ask my husband for forgiveness….many times. Sigh

God has strengthened us and comforted us with His word. He has filled in the gaps and covered our marriage with grace.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11