God will make a way!  “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

When I was a little girl I attended both Sunday school as well as the adult church service.  After all these years there is a particular service that really stuck with me.  The pastor spoke about a christian woman who lived in a remote part of the world.  She was a missionary who lived at the foot of a mountain.  She lived all alone with the exception of some soldiers who had set up camp not too far from her shack about a year earlier.  The soldiers kept to themselves and she didn’t interact with them.

Every Sunday she would wake up before the sun to begin a long and arduous hike around the mountain so that she could attend a worship service on the other side of the mountain at 9am.    She loved the Lord and telling the people in the village about the Lord was the highlight of her week.  Many of the people there had come to faith in Jesus because of the love she had poured into them over her life.

Over the years, as her body became more and more feeble with age, the hike became  increasingly difficult.  The thoughts of not being able to make the trek around the mountain began to eat away at her.   Whenever she imagined the day that she couldn’t join her friends and sing to God, she felt a twinge of grief rise up in her chest.  Each time these thoughts came she would do her best to push them down but this only made things worse.  Instead of experiencing joy when she thought about her beloved fellowship, now she felt anxiety.  This anxiety showed up as back and neck pain, which only made her hike more difficult.

Finally the day came when she woke up and told the Lord that she couldn’t do it anymore.  She laid in bed long after the sun came up.  She had a heaviness on her heart and the grief made it feel like there was a lead blanket on her weighing her down.  About 15 minutes before the worship service was going to start, she pulled herself out of bed.  Stepping outside of her simple one room home the sun was blindingly bright.  Even though there was not a cloud in the sky, her world was dark.  She wandered over to her garden and got down on her hands and knees to pull some weeds that had begun to take root.

The grief inside of her began rising with each weed she pulled.  At first quiet tears fell onto the soil as her small frame shook with pain.  Until finally she threw her had back and wailed.  The agony was just too much.  She had given her life to God.  She had left everything and everyone she knew on the other side of the world to….

Go and preach the Good News!

She had been dreading this day.   All alone and empty.  Letting out her grief that she had been holding back for so long brought a wave of refreshment that she hadn’t anticipated.  She looked quite a mess.  Her long grey braid had whisps of loose hairs that had come out in the night.    Her tear stained face was now covered with streaks of dirt that her hands had left.  She decided to get up to refresh her hair and wash her face even though she knew no one would see her anyway.  It was in that moment that she noticed that the soldiers who had been camped on the side of the mountain had picked up and left in the middle of the night.

Curious, she wandered over to their abandoned camp.  Upon inspection she found a long tunnel that went straight through the mountain.   She could see sunlight as she peered through the tunnel so she decided to walk through to see what was on the other side.  After just a few minutes she stepped out into the bright sunshine and found herself standing right in the place where she would meet the villagers every Sunday morning for worship.

She dropped to her knees and began to cry.

“Father God! You are so faithful! I love you! I worship you! I praise you Father!  Why did I ever doubt?  You are a faithful Father! You go before me! You make a way when there seems to be no way!”

I love this story because it reminds me that God knows what we need before we even ask.  He loves us and He cares about what we care about.  He will go to great lengths for us and His compassions are new every morning.  He will  send a whole team of people to work on a solution to our problems long before the day comes when we need it.

I was just a child when I heard this story sitting next to my beloved friend Mrs. H.  I may have been about 10 years old at the time.  Mrs. H used to pick me up from the children’s home and take me to church each week.   I actually don’t remember the finer details of what the pastor said and for the purposes of retelling it here today I made up the details to express what I thought it looked like.

The main points are this.  This retelling is based on a real life missionary.  God really does care about us and He goes before us.  I need this hope and promise to hold onto in my life.

Mrs. H. took me to church and mentored me for years.  She always told me that I should never expect to get to a place on earth where I wouldn’t have any problems.  I am thankful for that nugget of wisdom.

In this world you will have troubles

I took the picture at the top of this post when I was in Honolulu.  I have it pinned to a tack board in my bedroom and I look at when I’m feeling weighed  down by worries.  My problems come and go.  God is faithful and He has always made a way for me.  It’s a mystery to me that I would ever have doubts and little faith when God has shown up for me in such profound ways both in my life and the lives of believers all around the world.

In the old testament God had the people build stones of rememberance and David often recited God’s faithfulness.  In fact I started this post today because I was feeling discouraged about a situation in my life that is weighing me down.  I know that I know that I know that God is faithful.  Yet,  the weight of worry had been bringing me down.  We humans are not meant to operate under the weight of worry.

I heard that the Bible says we should not be afraid 365 times.  I’m not sure how many times it actually says that but I know God addresses it a lot.  When I feel like everything is not good, and no, I am not okay, I have to ask myself these questions.

• Have I taken it to God in prayer?  There is a great song that says

“What peace we surpass because we don’t take it to the Lord in prayer”

“You have been assigned to this mountain, to show people it can be moved.” UNKNOWN

Today (1/15/2024) was my 3rd Explantversary! I wrote this post as an encouragement to myself and anyone else who needs it.  Three years ago on January 15, 2021 I had my breast implants removed, which you can read about in Explant and Heal. Today I discovered a large lump in my right breast. I realized something was going on because I’ve had an incessant itch for weeks. May my life serve as a horrible warning not to get breast implants.

I had to have a Go Fund Me just to get the money for my surgery. I called it Where There is Love There is L.I.F.E.

God was faithful but I am still disappointed I waited so long to ask for help. This has been one long story of financial abuse and it has not been easy to go through or to write about. Today my flat tire light went on. I cannot even begin to tell you how many flat tires I have had. As of today my car has 199,736 miles and counting. It’s been making a rubbing noise and shaking when I drive on the highway. I’ll be taking it in on Wednesday to my mechanic.

I’m due for a God sized miracle because I don’t have funds for a new van. I’ve been blogging for the Lord for over ten years. I believed he was going to give me a new Airstream van for Christmas a few years ago but instead I got Covid. Yuck!

When I finished my marathon in January of 2023 I didn’t want to put my marathon sticker on my van because knew then that my van wasn’t going to last much longer. So I stuck it on my water bottle.

My husband started construction today so now my living room chair is in my kitchen.  With the below zero weather and a broken van, I am exactly where I Don’t want to be. I’m battle weary, but such is life. I have a friend who I haven’t seen in a very long time. I miss her and she sent me a message saying she misses me and that she feels like I got sucked into a cult.

No, I’m not in a cult in regards to my faith. My family life is another story. I definitely feel trapped. But I have a voice and I know how to use it.

What about you?  What do you do when you feel discouraged or defeated?

Before I go to bed I want to say something to the man who thinks he is above the law. It is not wrong to want to pay the least amount of taxes. It is against the law to evade paying your taxes. That’s stealing.

“Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-11