Two days before Father’s Day we signed up at Wright-Way Rescue  to foster Florentine.  She is an adorable shepherd lab mix.  We had her for a few days and then realized she was sick and so we had to take her back to the shelter.

About a week later we were wondering how she was and I was starting to believe that the Lord wanted us to adopt her.  When we had originally picked her up to foster her they gave us a harness and a leash that in a strange way spoke to me.The main thing that was impressed on me (please don’t judge me) is that this dog reminded me of my oldest daughter.  Now I am NOT saying she is a dog.  When I saw the name “WILDERDOG”  it simply reminded me of her married name.

I think this actually has more to do with the Lord asking me to be transparent about how I got pregnant as a rebellious teenager and the devastating impact that caused on her father, myself and sadly even her.

When I told my husband that I thought our family was supposed to adopt Florentine he told me that he likes dogs but that he didn’t really want another one.  He said he was willing to walk her and let her out sometimes and that he didn’t mind if I wanted  to adopt her. He pointed out that it was for the life of the dog.

Similarly when I got pregnant as a rebellious teenager my daughter’s Dad didn’t voice any strong opinions at all about if I should keep the baby or not.  His mother asked me if I was going to get an abortion and since I had already devastatingly done that already I knew I wouldn’t.

I was a lonely broken girl and I was trying to fix my problems by having a baby.  I wanted a family.  I wasn’t thinking forward into the future on how that would impact any of us.  I’m not making any excuses for what I did.  I am simply explaining and trying to own it.

Her Dad wasn’t ready to be a father.  He wasn’t mature. He wasn’t set financially.  We weren’t married.  It was bad all the way around.

But I will say that when she was born, he was smitten over her.  He cried when he saw her come into the world.  He adored her.  He showed up for her in so many ways.

All of that was ravaged when we went through the monumental  storm of divorce.  She was so young that I’m not sure she has memories of any of the good times.  But there were good times.

I can’t go back and change the past.  All I can do is own my life and move forward.

Our family tried our hand at incubating some eggs this summer.  We weren’t successful but it was a good learning opportunity for me to talk to my kids about the facts of life. 

A friend of mine sent the kids a box of chocolates and they arrived in a small plastic box that reminded me of the eggs in the incubator.

While we were standing around eating chocolates I had the thought that eating chocolates isn’t all that different than promiscuous teenagers fooling around.  They are both very tempting.

The chocolates arrived with an ice pack that had little rabbits all over it.  I don’t know where other peoples minds go to when they see something like that, but when I saw those rabbits I remembered how prolific our pet rabbits were and then my mind jumped back to teenagers.  Animals are a fantastic way to teach kids about sex.

Ultimately three of my kids went back with me to Wright-Way Rescue and I adopted Florentine. There are times in my life when I wonder if I am crazy or if I am submitting to God’s will for me.  Because honestly, there is a big difference between fostering and adopting.

Florentine is part of our family now.  She is wonderful and energetic and….I also didn’t want the extra responsibility.  But more than wanting my own way, I would rather submit to a  process that the LORD is taking me through for my own refinement.

God can do whatever he wants with my life and I can think of a lot worse disciplines than adopting a puppy especially since one of our daughters is headed down the road to having her own animal rescue and sanctuary some day.

During this season of life I am watching the LORD unfold a beautiful miracle in my oldest daughter’s life.  He is giving her beauty for ashes.  She had her own season of rebellion,  In fact, I give both of my two oldest children full credit for teaching me how to pray beyond my own selfish needs.

There is nothing like the feeling of watching the children you’ve invested in for eighteen years go off into the world.   We are all born rebels of the cross, but we don’t have to stay  that way.  When we are ready to admit the truth about our sin the LORD offers us adoption into his family.

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—” Ephesians 1:4-5

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  Luke 18:1